In my head, I’ve been going through early menopause since Christopher was born. I mean, who complains about Aunt Flo going missing for 3 years? But, you know, I was starting to get suspicious, so I went looking for her.
I went for some labs last week after my doctor assured me that menopause was unlikely. It looked like PCOS, which I was also prepared for somewhat, I mean it’s pretty common and people talk about it on TV all the time. I went in for an ultrasound yesterday and yes there were ovarian cysts, but not the PCOS kind. Big ones instead. The long and short of it is, I’m going in for surgery tomorrow.
My head is all kinds of crazy right now. The doctor told us we could wait it out, come in again in a couple weeks, monitor the cysts and if they’re shrinking, just leave them alone, or if they’re getting bigger schedule surgery then. But in the meantime, my ovary could roll over on itself and cause severe pain and I’d have to come in for emergency surgery. Oh, and there’s the part where if they can’t get the cysts out cleanly I could lose the whole ovary, which hasn’t been working anyway because it’s clogged up with weirdness.
I realized last night that while I’ve had surgery (2 c-sections), those were immediate, “you’re going to the hospital now” scenarios. I was awake during the whole thing, I didn’t have time to think about them or for my head to get filled up with “what ifs” and thank goodness there’s no Grey’s Anatomy to watch because people go in for a routine procedure and die all the time on that show.
It would be nice to find that they did a little tummy tucking while they were in there. I mean, I’m not totally excited about the prospect of being on limited activity for a week or two and who’s going to pick up my Christopher for me. Also, 2 weeks of no gym time, boo. Yeah, not happy about that.
Feeling pretty gross, and pretty low, and my crazy head is making my mouth want to eat frosting and wallow. So, I’m going to put some makeup on and go get some pre-surgery bloodwork done and then go grocery shopping so my dear sweet husband with a great bedside manner and lots of compassion towards sick mommy can feed our kids on his own for a couple of days while I need to sit still or whatever.