Renewing Mercies…A Little Each Day

Starting over from scratch…sorta

My God Is So Big


…so strong and so mighty there’s nothing my God can not doooooo

Most of the time I don’t really think about the fact that He loves me.  Which at the moment makes me cry.  Because, of course, it is still January and there have been resolutions made and goals cast and desires yet to be met…but today some goals and resolutions and desires all met in a Bermuda Triangle that is now my very, very, very overloaded closet.

So, the other day (January 7th) among my 2013 goals I wrote:  “Only wear clothes that look great on me, unless I’m working out.”  Yes, yes, I know I’m supposed to learn to love the dog and sweep the floor and journal my food and so far I’ve been a dismal failure at all of those, but I have been trying and 60/40 succeeding in not only dressing in my better clothes, occasionally wearing my heeled boots (except for this week with my knockoff Walmart Uggs), and doing both my makeup AND blowing out my hair.  Which compared to last year is like a makeover in itself.

See, I’ve tried.  I’ve stepped up my game.  I threw out all my maternity clothes months ago.  I’ve been overly critical about my outfits when I wear them and things are being sent to the trash or sent to the pajama drawer UITB.  I’ve been wearing the lacy panties y’all and ditching the holey ones.  Gone are the days of wearing my yoga pants because I’m going TO Target…and wearing jeans and a cute-ish top to buy yoga pants AT Target.

Sadly, much of all this effort has been in vain because my wardrobe has been a hot mess for about 4 years.  I’ve had most everything in my wardrobe for I’d say 5 years, but I’ll give these items one good year of use before they just needed to go.  I was recounting to Court certain items and how long I’ve had them and when I wore them first; and most of them were before we were married or before I got pregnant with Ava and she’s going to be 5 in a few months.  If you don’t really know me…before we were married my joy, my hobby was shopping.  There was no place I spent more than the Trumbull Mall, unless it was the Marshall’s in Fairfield.  There was nothing more exciting or fun or a better pick-me-up than a new thing.  Cute shoes, a new bag, sparkly flowered flip flops in 2 different colors, earrings, a new top, a cute skirt or cardigan…I never wore the same thing twice.  I’ll say that being on the Praise & Worship team at my church didn’t help me at all by requiring me to wear a different color weekly…it just fed the monster.  Being married, however, changed all that.  Now the money was ours and the shopping not something that didn’t go unnoticed and certainly wasn’t complimented like it would be in the workplace by female co-workers.  As the years have gone by, and small children have been added to our family and things like diapers and formula and paper towels and the price of milk ($0.99 for a half-gallon at Walmart people – don’t pay full price for milk!) have become the priority in my mind and the first thing that our money gets spent on, and therefore, shopping has become a lot less fun.  Add to that, oh let’s say 50 pounds, a strange additional post-baby pooch, exhaustion and complete mind-numbing terror at the thought of bringing my beautiful and whirlwind of chaos children with me to shop for anything beyond what can be purchased at the “cookie store” (King Soopers) and you will know the horrible extent of my wardrobe until today.

Because today, someone who I love and have admired her wardrobe for many, many years, and her mom, who we also love and who also has very pretty clothes…gave me nine garbage bags full of clothes.  Why? Because they are exercising like crazy and now these clothes are *WAY TOO BIG* for them, and I’m a couple of sizes behind in my journey.  Do I mind wearing someone else’s fat clothes?  No, I do not and here’s why…  #1:  Because their fat clothes are smaller than my fat clothes that I’ve been wearing, make that swimming in, for months.  #2: Everything fits.  Everything is pretty.  Everything has never been boogered on, spit up on, or smeared with a half chewed cookie.  #3:  Their clothes are fancy!  #4:  They were free.    As some random extreme coupon lady once said “Everything tastes better when it’s free.”

So, thank you so much Heidi & Carol for passing along your gorgeous clothes and filling up my closet with pretty things and fun stuff to look forward to getting dressed up in every day.  And thank you Jesus for knowing who had “clothes that look great on me” (even when I’m working out because there were lots of fun hoodies in there too) + being myself really meant, even when I didn’t and putting them together for me.  Thank you for loving me like you do.  And, I hope the people that get the clothes of mine that are now being shipped off to Goodwill tomorrow are blessed to have them too.


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