Renewing Mercies…A Little Each Day

Starting over from scratch…sorta

I Want It NOW!


Strong willed child or spoiled child, apparently according to the great wisdom that is some random Mom’s website that I can’t think of but spams my inbox daily.  Ava’s behavior checked 8 out of 10 of their indicators for a spoiled child.  Great.  Awesome. F—.

It’s not as if I don’t have my own temper tantrums.  I do.  I yell…when no one is obeying and I’m being ignored.  I stomp around the house and get silent when I’ve been talked down to or my opinion is belittled.  Mostly though, I just eat my tantrum.  As if biting into a cookie or a piece of bread or whatever is in front of me is actually biting the thing (or person) I’m mad at.  Ridiculous and sad and oh so very human, sometimes we just can’t handle the pressure it takes to get through the day.  Then of course, there’s the baking…baking for calm, baking for feeding my family, baking for comfort food, baking for approval.  What a train wreck!  Even though over Christmas I was so sick that I lost 6 pounds…well hello 6 pounds and your friend 2 pounds, thank you for joining my ass.  Temper tantrums are not at all effective are they?  Destructive, frustrating, horrible displays of bad behavior and they are running rampant in my house.  I am not a 2 year old, or a 4 year old…I’m a grown up.

They are not appropriate for my children, and they’re not appropriate for me.  It’s a constant struggle, a journey even, to find the most effective way to diffuse the tantrum.  The uninvested say, JUST spank them…ignore them…take things away from them…just just just.  Just what exactly? Just leave your cart where you were and exit the store screaming child in tow during the tantrum? Done that.  Just record their tantrum and post it on Facebook? Done that too, it made me feel better…but that was just 30 seconds of a couple of hours worth of tantrumming (yeah, that’s not a word, I know).

So, just like for me the tantrum isn’t the real reason why I’m angry and frustrated and exploding or imploding…it’s not their real reason either.  So yes, not understanding the concept of time and that a birthday party for someone else that she’s “really, super excited about” but isn’t for 3 weeks and not today, or tomorrow, or for many tomorrows after that is infuriating.  Being asked by a random “friend” at Villa Kids to come over and play seems like an immediate invitation to a 4 year old, but the lack of details like what is this yellow-haired boy’s name, where does he live, does his mom know you’ve been invited over, all dictate whether or not I can say “yes” to your request dear child.  Regardless of the length and specific detail as to why I am saying “no”, or “not now” to her, in her mind, an invitation is an invitation and how dare I stand in the way.

Sadly, unlike a battle of temper tantrums between two adults, I can’t just walk away and leave her there in the middle of WalMart.  Someday DCF may come after me.

As for me, well we ran out of sugar, that might put an end to the baking, but have you seen what’s on Pinterest lately.  I mean it’s kind of like porn, not that I watch porn, but it’s what I imagine looking at porn must feel like to guys.   Starting with spoiled kids and now porn, I’ve really got to cut this off now.  The end.


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